He was here only a few short hours, but He made a lifetime of difference to me.

Just wanted to give a quick thank you to daysgoneby for doing my blog for me.  It's wonderful and so are you.

Ok, I said in my last post that I was feeling a little bitchy, well I still am.  I've been lurking around lately and yes I said lurking.  I'm really disturbed by all that I'm seeing.

I was never a friend of Emily's.  I have no clue who this Betty is.  But I do have an opinion on the entire matter.

Emily: Anyone whose life is so terrible that they feel the need to try and kill themselves needs to be locked up.  Not given their job back to teach young, impressionable children.  Get help then try to work.  Not the other way around.  If you can give me one good reason why you should die, then I won't say a word.  The problem is that no one can come up with a good excuse.  They just get frustrated and kill themselves.  Why ask for help, when getting hugs and pats on the back feels so much better?  It's been said that she's upset because her mother wasn't affectionate, sorry but I wouldn't want to hug someone who dressed themselves in thorns everyday either.  She's untouchable.  She doesn't care about others only herself.  Which brings me to this Betty person.  I'm sorry that she's not doing well.  As a human being I can say that.  But for someone else to use her tragedy as a way to get people to come to their blog, add friends or talk about how they almost died, its sickening.

Why am I writing this some people may be asking themselves.  Because I'm tired of this.  I'm tired of the backstabbing.  I'm tired of people who don't know each other from adam calling each other names and threatening that they're coming after someone else. We've never met, we don't know each other and if most of us stopped blogging tomorrow, guess what life would go on.  We would miss each other for a day or so, but then we'd go on.  We're not buddies, or pals.  We're online "friends".  We can speak our mind here because its safe.  No one knows us.  We can be something or someone different here.  If you don't like what I have to say, then don't come back.  Simple as that.  If I don't like the comments you left, I can delete them.  No skin off my nose.

So, does this mean that I'm a cold hearted bitch?  No, just means that I save my sympathy for someone that needs it.  If you are in trouble and need someone to lean on, I'll be here in cyberspace, waiting.  Just don't waste my time.  If you ask for advice and I give it, don't slap me in the face every single time.  Eventually, I'll stop being around.

That's all I have for now.

Night

I have started and stopped this entry seven times tonight.  I am both appalled and angry in regards to the things that I have read and seen on mindsay regarding religion and homosexuality.  I believe I can speak on both issues as I am both, a Christian and a lesbian.  And before mouths hit the floor, yes I used both words in the same sentence.

I do not wear my sexuality like a banner, I don't have rainbow stickers on my car, I don't have rainbow pins stuck to my shirt and I don't walk around screaming in someones face about who I am.  I will stand up for my rights and I will fight for what I believe in.  But, when you come to my blog, you will not see "Welcome to Queer Land" posted everywhere.  I don't blog about my life in regards to my being gay.  Every other line isn't I am gay, I am queer.  As a matter of fact, I am ex military and that is the first thing you will see, the next thing you will see is the fact that I had a son that died.  Thereafter will be stories on my life, my job and my family.  If you can't handle it, oh well.

I am sick and tired of ignorant people that use the Bible, God, and Christianity to hide behind and excuse their behavior.  If you're attracted to a woman and don't want to be, stay out of lesbian bars and their pants.  No where does it say stop talking to women all together.  Believe me there are some straight women that will turn your head faster than a gay one and if you think that staying away from the gays is going to help you stay on the straight and narrow, honey you might as well live in a hole.  If coming to my blog is a temptation, I'm sorry, because there is nothing here to tempt you.

If you believe that homosexuality is a sin and God will punish me for my sins, then so be it.  But let me ask you a question.  Did God punish my sins by taking away my son?  Did God punish me by putting me into an abusive relationship?  Did God punish my loved ones by giving them a mental disease because of my sexuality?  Because if you believe that, then you don't believe in a fair, forgiving or a loving God.  HE created me in HIS image and HE created me to be this way.  There is nothing in the Bible or in YOUR church that is going to prove otherwise to me.

Somewhere in the Bible it states that the only one to hand down judgement is God, so for those of you that feel the need to judge me, my advice to you is hit your knees and pray, because you're the ones that need it.

That is my rant for the night.